Thursday, January 26, 2012

Today's devotion email

I get an email every day from Rest Ministries- Chronic Illness and Pain Support. I do my best to read them every day as well as one day of devotions out of the book "Mosiac Moments: Devotionals for the Chronically Ill. And I reflect on them through out the day.

One I read several months ago talked about leaning on God for physical strength, this is something I ask God to show me every day. I lean on him for emotional strength most of the time, but I don't understand how to lean on him for physical strength.

I wanted to share this with you today because today's email hit home. Hit me right upside the head. So here it is:

"As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples ask Him, ‘Rabbi who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?’ ‘Neither this man nor his parents sinned,’ said Jesus, ‘but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life.’” (John 9: 1-3)

One dear-lady on one of the prayer forums I visit requested prayer for her church and a member of this church. This church-member suffers from Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, one of the illnesses we refer to as an “invisible illness” because we can not actually see the results of the damage this illness can cause. Since there is little known about this disorder, the church members took it upon themselves to intervene and try to heal this member in their own way.

Rather than offering support and prayer, they offered her what they assumed was a “sure-fire”cure.

They felt that this lady was not “physically” ill as she had said but rather suffering from sin in her life. They offered her a book that has chemicals on it to help her overcome her problems. The idea is basically that the more she smells the chemicals in this book, the more she will realize that her illness is and has been all in her imagination.

It always breaks my heart when others pass judgment on those who are in pain. . .
Well-meaning church-members assume they have the answers.
Well-meaning friends offer their cures, remedies and advice.
Well-meaning family members don’t understand why we are in pain.

Soon, we find ourselves questioning our life and illness and wondering if sin has been the reason we suffer so. In John chapter nine, we see a similar situation. The disciples saw a blind man. This blind man had suffered all of his life. The disciples ask Jesus who had sinned, him or his parents that he might have such an affliction. Jesus replied neither had sinned.

You see, it does not please God that we suffer, The Lord desires only the best for us, but the Lord can see past our pain in this temporary life to the eternal gain we will someday receive. This man’s weakness was displaying his spiritual strength, by relying on the Lord to work through him.God’s grace was the power for this blind man to endure his burden. He was strengthened as he relied on the strength of the Lord in his life. God’s powerful grace is more real to us in our sufferings. God’s glory could be demonstrated by working through the human weakness.

I know that when my pain is deep and intense and I am so troubled, despaired and alone, I would like to have an interceding friend who is concerned enough to pray for me and with me.

I would like a friend who would listen and understand.
I have that friend today in Jesus.
He is a friend I can always turn to.
He understands me through and through.
What kind of a friend are you today?

Can you intercede for another in pain? Perhaps you need prayer and understanding today in your own life. Remember precious one, you are so loved today and you are not alone. The Lord does understand and He knows your pain.

Dear Lord: Thank You for reminding us it is not our fault that we suffer so. Please help us to forgive ourselves and take away any guilt that is misplaced. You demonstrated in Your Word that this world offers pain because the world is flawed, but that we as individuals are not at fault when illness strikes. We can be blessed and assured that you understand the pain we are in and we are grateful to find any relief through You and Your Word! Thank you, Lord. Amen.

About the author:
Deborah Farmer suffers daily from a few of those invisible illnesses. She desires that everyone in pain today feel the loving arms of a Savior who understands and loves them. Deborah offers her prayers and hugs to you today!

You can now read this on your Kindle. Find out more at

Have you ever been hurt by a well-meaning person who offered a quick cure or solution to your physical ailments? Did you hurt about it even more than your loved ones would have expected? How have you used this experience to respond differently when you are encouraging another person who is suffering?

The text I put in bold really spoke to me. I have been in pain and despair this week and the one thing I didn't look to was God. I had friends offer their ear, but that just didn't seem like enough. I turned to chocolate and didn't get my answers. So today I am committed to turning to God, focusing on Him to guide me through.

If you don't believe in God or are unsure. Contact me. Leaning on Him through my 12 year battle with Lupus has gotten me through some low times. Sure sometimes I need a smack upside the head to remeber He is there. But He is. He understands, He loves me and He puts people in my life to see me through everything.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Guest Bloggers?

I recently had a request from someone who would like to be a guest blogger. I have never even considered this, but I am open to it. If this is something you would be interested in doing send me an email and let me know. I will be happy to review your writing and post it. I would like to keep away from sales posts and things of that matter. You don't have to be just a patient, you can be a caregiver or someone on the outside looking in.

Email me

Also, if you have other blogs you enjoy reading or you have one yourself, leave me the link and I am happy to post it on the side of my blog so others can enjoy!

the morning after

This morning I thought I would wake up feeling better. Yes, I know, I have an optomistic look on life sometimes. But I didn't.

The good news, bland food and fluids are staying in me. A lot of stomach pains come with that, but it works.

Surprising my joints are doing ok today. Last night it was horrible. Had to take medications to sleep. I am feeling stressed too. Is the Benlysta working? Is it not? I just don't know anymore.

I thought working out was helping my body feel better with the Benlysta, now I don't know. What else can I do? I don't know.

Time to pick myself up off the floor, figure this crap out and move on. I think this will be much harder said than donw, but I am going to try.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Ever feel alone?

I know I'm not alone. Thousands of people deal with Lupus everyday, but each case is unique. This week I have been keeping myself out of the gutter, but just barely.

I am so frustrated with all I am going through. I was feeling so great and then something hit and now I feel as bad as I did 6 months ago. What is going on? Is the Benlysta done working? Did it ever work, or was I fooling myself?

Back in September my husband challenged me to loose 80 pounds. 80 pounds I would give anything to loose. But it's been hard, very hard. Going to the gym is hard. Not because I'm out of shape but because it hurts so much. Everything I do there I will pay for the next several days. I want this so bad and yet I can't achieve it. I want this more than anything and it's so hard. I worked with a trainer tonight and I had to keep taking breaks. It killed me to see all these people that make it look so easy (my husband being one of them). I just feel defeated.

Between feeling like crap suddenly and the realization that I will probably never loose this weight has but me on the depressed track. Maybe I'm throwing myself a pity party but I really feel alone. No one knows what it feels like. No one understands. I wonder why I got dealt this hand I. Life. When will someone come along who can mentor me through this?

Monday, January 9, 2012

Product review

I was not given product for this blog post, I just love this product- although if they wanted to send me some as a thank you I wouldn't turn it away) :-)

I am NOT a "health" person. I roll my eyes at people who say this vitamin or that will probably help me with my Lupus. Mainly cause I have tried it all. But I had confided in a friend of mine about my struggle to loose weight and how I desperatly wanted something I could have for breakfast that was fast and easy to do. She told me about this drink... I am a PICKY eater, so I was skeptical. She gave me a three day sample and I actually was able to drink it.

The first is a mix called "Green Vibrance"

Green Vibrance is the original Concentrated Green Superfood. It's a nutritional powerhouse that improves energy and endurance, strengthens immunity, improves digestion and circulation. Green Vibrance has more nutrient density than any other green-food product on the market. It contains 58 certified organic, concetrated foods and extracts, all of the highest quality, along with an industry-leading 18 billion probiotics per serving. (From the Amazon website)

Click here to find it on Amazon

I also mix it with "Rainbow Vibrance"

Rainbow Vibrance red, yellow, blue & green fresh fruits and vegetables two-thirds of a pound of fresh fruits and vegetables concentrated in each scoop. Equivalent to 4½ servings of fruits and vegetables 3,974 ORAC units per serving; Gluten free. We do not live in a monochromatic world. In the realm of nutritional supplementation, red drinks are not enough. Blueberry, blackberry, grape, plums, peaches and apricots measure up well against the famous red fruits cranberry, raspberry, cherry and Camu-camu. But good health does not revolve solely around the strength of anti-oxidants in the diet. Soluble and insoluble fibers, indoles, sulphorohane, flavanols, flavonoids, and complex polysaccharides and carotenoids all play a part.

Click here to find it on Amazon

I mix these together with 10 oz of orange juice and a scoop of Physillum Husk and drink it every morning.

I feel great. The digestion issues I have with my lupus are completely gone (Including when I had my major flare in December). It is the perfect breakfast for me and keeps me "full" until lunch time.

Feel free to ask me questions. But if you are looking for a healthy drink I would suggest these. The cost can be over welming by $100 for two months is pretty good for breakfast every morning.

December Update

So I have once again neglected the blog and now my mind is spinning with all kinds of posts... So I'll start with this one:

December was a fun month, too fun. We decided to take a last minute cruise and I pushed myself way to hard. I really over estimated how great Benlysta was working. So I flared, and flared bad. Still dealing with the flare. Good Times!!

I forgot how bad I felt before I started Benlysta. SO now I am taking it easy, as much as I can and wait for the medication to take control once again. Oh, who am I kidding I'm not taking it easy at all. Still working out, still have a crazy commitment schedule. Will I slow down, probably not. My body just needs to catch up.

My primary doctor wants to test me for diabetes, this to me is a HUGE blow. I'm overweight, yes. But I am trying so hard. If the "cure" for type 2 is weight loss and I can't loose weight how am I suppose to get over it? The test he wants is two hours long and I just haven't gotten up the courage to go do it.

So that is all I got for now... I have other posts that have nothing to do with an "update" that I will type up now.