Wednesday, June 29, 2011

I've been avoiding you...

bad I know. But sometimes typing it out makes me have to accept it. I'm in a flare... a bad one. My body hurts.
For those without Lupus, think of what it's like to have body aches with the flu, then double that pain and know that's what it feels like every day. I'm sure I have said it before, but I hate this.

Each flare makes me feel like lupus is breaking me. I know in my heart it's not. I know that with God's strength I will get through this. It is so funny to say that. I have really been struggling with that personally. I find it easy to give God my emotions, sadness, stress, happiness, worries. But how do I hand over my physical well being to Him? He isn't physically here to let me lean on to walk down the hall. I am really struggling with that... not in a bad way, but in a way I so despartly want to understand.

There is a holiday weekend in my future. I had to take the 5th off just to recover from it. I plan on staying in bed as much as possible and just resting. But for now life my continue on.

Once again I am blessed with an AMAZING husband that is letting me rest when I get home from work, offering to sleep on the couch so I can move around as much as possible and just being amazing.

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