Thursday, October 9, 2008

Exhaustion

Have you ever just felt like you were on the verge of collapsing? I feel like that a lot, and I wish I could just give in to the feeling. Today is one of those days. I have been changing my medication. I saw my Rheumy in mid September and was relieve when she took me off the one medication. I was told to give it two weeks and see how I do. I completely forgot all about it, to be honest, I hate taking it, so I was glad to be rid of it. Well without realizing it I came upon the two week window and I became very ill. Everything I ate didn’t stay in my stomach and I hurt, oh how I hurt. Then I realized it- two weeks was up, the medication was fully out of my system. So as my doctor had told me, I started it back up. So here I sit today, medicate and just trying to get through the day. I am holding in there, but sometimes life is just hard.

So now I am struggling with deciding if the side effects are worth the cure. With the one medication I was just told that they found out that 70% of the users learned that their body quit losing weight. That is definitely me, I was wondering why I was gaining and not losing anything. I am good at being able to eat and not gain a ton of weight, so the weight gain was a huge shock to me. So can I deal with going off of it and have the pain, extreme pain that is unmanageable or do I continue to get fat. Why can’t they make medication that doesn’t cause weight gain. Or how about have a pill that has a side effect of weight loss. Ahh I can dream can’t I.

Join us for the Lupus walk next Saturday the 18th, we would love to have TONS of people show up!!

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