So the struggles continue. I got my blood test results back and I had hoped that my sed rate would go down on the one med, but it hasn't.

Things have just been crappy. I am really starting to feel emotionally drained with all the meds and the side effects. Plus the feelings. the pain. I have a sinus thing going on and I can't take anything for it. this totally sucks. I know I should be blessed to have Lupus, so I can share with others my story, but sometimes I just want to scream. people just don't get it. How do we get the word out about this disease? how do we make people see?

The Breast Cancer three day was this weekend and I a looked at the news story and was jealous that Lupus doesn't get the amount of publicity as other diseases. it's just as bad, but there is no cure. I am so frustrated. I want so much for people to understand me. To not make a bid deal of it.

Thanks for lettingme vent... sometimes it's just good to get it off my chest.

So I had a doctors apt this morning. We went over my pulmonary function test. The good news is the Lupus hasn’t set into my lungs. It does look like I have some asthma so I am getting an inhaler for when I need it…. Yippee. We are going to try and drop the Lupus meds to see if it makes a difference. I won’t know for two weeks if it will matter if I take it or not. I’m kinda glad I don’t have to take it. It’s hard to remember cause I have to take it on an empty stomach. Plus it is so stinking expensive.

The meds for the fibromyalgia are working, but there is one side effect that is terrible. Weight. Apparently 70% of those who take this med cannot lose weight and to make matters worse I have gained 9 pounds in 3 weeks. I am devastated. If this stupid med wasn’t working so well I would go off of it. I am the heaviest I have ever been, it’s so depressing. So what do I do? Keep getting fat and be 90% better than I was a year ago or go off the meds, lose 100 pounds and be in pain and MISERABLE? So frustrating, and losing weight has never been easy for me, so 100 pounds would take a long time. Decisions, decisions.

Nothin new

same old, same old stuff. I feel like crap. Will this ever end? probably not. I'm in the middle of a pretty good flare. My body just aches and aches, the pain is so intense and even the max paid medication isn't taking the sting completely away. Sometimes the flares can be really discouraging and maybe it's my lack of sleep today, maybe not. anyways, I'm keeping up with life, and I hope to have more time to update you soon.