Tuesday, December 30, 2008

It’s been awhile since an update. So here it goes. The flare seems to have leveled off. In the mean time I have been seeing an ob/gyn for other issues and recently had surgery to check out what’s going on and at the same time they did a tubal ligation. The reason I am telling you this is because the doctor found nothing… which means he gave me the answer to all my problems:

It must be Lupus.

I could SCREAM. I am SO sick and tired of this. I would like to go to a doctor and not tell him my medical history so they can actually trouble shoot instead of look once and assume. I know- I am making a claim against the doctor that he didn’t do fully do his job, however, I have been dealing with so much that it seems everyone blames Lupus. Lupus is like a terrible hang nail that you can’t get rid of… Your knee hurts? Oh it’s just that hang nail… your neck hurts? It’s that hang nail, sorry can’t help you. I am so terribly frustrated. I am fed up and done. I am ready to stop complaining, everything is Lupus related and no one can help or really cares.

Wow- that was a lot to poor out, but I guess I needed to say it. The bottom line is that it sucks to have it all blamed on Lupus.
I hope to stop my birth control which should help with the hormones, and I am hoping it lessens the flares I have in relation to the hormones. And I am now debating a break from the Lyrica. As I have said before, Lyrica can block your body’s ability to lose weight and I am gaining weight quickly. I am miserable and unhappy with my current body and I want nothing more for it to be manageable, but it means going off the one drug I feel is working. This is so incredibly complicated and frustrating I just don’t know what to do.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Last night I came home from the Seahawks game. I knew I was going to pay for the weekend I had, I just didn't realized. I got home with head congestion so bad that I couldn't keep my eyes open. I broke down & took some nighquil, but it didn't kick in. I cried the pain was so bad. My whole body ached. Colds suck because it seems to me that they also feel like the flu, achiness, fevers, congestion, sore throat and such.

So when I woke up this morning I still hadn't slepted off the drugs so I opted to stay home from work. I have been miserable ALL day. My only hope is that MAYBE this is what I have been fighting the last couple of months & it has finally come to light so I can go away. So I am now going to shut my computer off cause my head hurts, and I shouldn't have gotten on it to begin with, but you know those withdrawls can really get to you!

Monday, December 1, 2008

Another update

My flare continues. It really sucks. I have been in and out of doctors appointments and nothing. My lymph nodes continue to be swollen and all my labs came back “normal” for me. It may be that I am just getting virus after virus and my body has just not had time to heal. I am so frustrated. I am back to not sleeping and I feel like my chest is going to explode. It is just so annoying.
So I continue to fight, continue to try and rest, continue to live life.